The Bledsoe Show

The Strong Coach Experience with Eleanor Forder

The Strong Coach Experience with Eleanor Forder

In this episode, we have Eleanor Forder of Flux and Flow coaching. Flux&Flow is an integrative health & wellness coaching service for those ready to take action on their health and happiness. It's all about developing daily practices that better equip us to find our own flow, our own current to effortlessly travel down, while also finding peace with the inevitability of uncertainty, pain and loss. At the time of the recording, she's 8 weeks out of 12 of The Strong Coach Program and shared her takeaways, the biggest shifts in her mindset, limiting beliefs, and so much more. Enjoy

Table Of Contents

Introduction

Welcome to the Strong Coach podcast. I'm Mike Bledsoe here with Mr. Ben Walker and we have Eleanor Forder joining us today. She came all the way from England.

Eleanor Forder: Yes.

Mike Bledsoe: All the way from London to hang out with us. Actually, you didn't come to hang out with us, it's like part of it.

Eleanor Forder: It was an aspect.

Mike Bledsoe: An aspect. So you came in for one of the check courses.

Eleanor Forder: Correct. And also just to be here just to absorb California.

Mike Bledsoe: Yeah. Before we get into what you're up to because you're in class 10 of The Strong Coach and you're making progress.

Eleanor Forder: Yes, it's happening in The Strong Coach

Mike Bledsoe: What I love about this is people get to see themselves in you because where you're at is just a step or two ahead of where people are at and they'll be able to go, "Oh, these are some things and some tools I can use for myself." Before we get into that, make sure you go over to… Where were they going, Ben?

Ben Walker: Thestrongcoachpodcast.com to get your three-step coaching business tune-up. Now, if you've tuned up hop on the phone with me or Danny and let's talk about how you can implement that even better.

What Made Her Join The Strong Coach

What Made Her Join The Strong Coach

Mike Bledsoe: Yes. All right, Elena, what got you into The Strong Coach in the first place.

Eleanor Forder: What got me in. So I was listening to a lot of podcasts for years. I was listening to fitness podcast before I was even doing fitness. It's a really weird thing. I don't know why. I just like to hear about it before I was even moved to step into that world. And then I became a yoga teacher which moved me forwards in my life definitely for my corporate job, but then still so much that wasn't aligning. And then I started to move away from a lot of friendships, become a lot more introverted and so the volume of podcasts that I listened to went up exponentially.

So it became probably the most… It's not interaction but the most information I had into my ears was through podcasts. So gradually I found, because it's so different to TV. It's like you get to know the people that you're hearing, and I was just inspired especially what you guys are talking about inspired to go down that route and so started getting into fitness, did my personal training qualification just at the beginning of this year and then really wanted to bring it together in a holistic coaching practice but had no idea about what that looks like particularly the nuts and bolts of marketing. But I didn't want to go and do like a marketing course because marketing is probably the most superficial thing that is holding me back. I'm going forwards because I don't know about promotion and whatever.

Mike Bledsoe: A lot of people, a lot of coaches are going. I need to know more about marketing.

Eleanor Forder: Yeah, exactly. That's the thing.

Mike Bledsoe: But there's way more to that in The Strong Coach

Eleanor Forder: There's so much more to it which is why I was very spontaneously, I'd say drawn because I'd been hearing about The Strong Coach obviously from podcast but then spontaneously I was just like, wait, that's what I need because it's not just about the marketing. Why don't I feel comfortable marketing myself. It's a psychological block for sure.

Ben Walker: We've been chatting about that.

Eleanor Forder: We have. We've been doing the deep work.

Mike Bledsoe: Ben's been coaching you. The Strong Coach

Eleanor Forder: He knows.

Ben Walker: We're going to work on that later today.

Eleanor Forder: Yeah, we are. We're going to talk all about the limiting beliefs. So I felt very drawn to that aspect of it and actually from… It just happened very quickly the way that I signed up because I'm in my past been very, very overly at an analytical looking at pros and cons and costs and all this stuff.

I had the discovery call with Danny and the price gave me that real fair within me like, "Okay, that's pretty much all I've got." I was like, "What are your other options?" I think he just said… And my voice is like, "But do you have that money? I was like, "Well, yeah. But are you going to take all of it?" I could feel that was just all headiness that was trying to hold me back from it. And so I knew that I had to take that kind of plunge.

The Discovery Call Experience

The Discovery Call Experience The Strong Coach

Mike Bledsoe: How was that discovery call? Aside from signing up, did you walk away with any more clarity? How did that call go and was it different than anything you'd experienced before?

Eleanor Forder: Of course. I mean, it was like a mini-The Strong Coach experience. So he gave me… What was the piece of advice he gave me? I think he just wanted me to talk a bit about my business and the roadblocks, and he was like, "Oh, you're making it about yourself." Because I was talking about how I didn't want to put myself out there and I've got the goods, the content. He's like, "It's not about you. It's about your audience." And I was like, oh. It was so simple. So that was like a quick insight. He's like, "Do you want more of this?" "Yes, give it to me."

Mike Bledsoe: Most people have never received coaching like what we're delivering. There's layers to it. And I'm really excited. I get to hang out with Ben and Danny all day long and I get to hear them coaching or doing The Strong Coach discovery calls, and it's always exciting because the level that is being delivered is going up all the time. And in a year from now, it's going to be even better.

Ben Walker: And that's the fun thing when we're in the calls is someone will say like, "Oh, I'm nervous about marketing." Danny and I both know okay, we're about to go seven layers deep on this and hear all about your dad.

Eleanor Forder: It always ends with the daddy issues.

Ben Walker: Yeah. It's always the daddy issues. It's so funny. Even in fitness the problem isn't the problem like your elbow hurts. What's going on with your shoulder? What's going on with your wrist? Let's look everywhere.

Mike Bledsoe: Posture, breathing.

Ben Walker: Yeah. It's the same thing with like, "Oh, I'm nervous about marketing." "Okay. When's the earliest you felt nervous about putting herself out there? Let's dig into that," and that's how we root out those those beliefs that you can actually start taking action on that scary thing as you keep saying.

Eleanor Forder: And what's interesting is that when I did decide to sign up, I didn't even know or didn't really care what the nuts and bolts of the lessons would be because I was just so hold on the overall, well, you guys essentially and the overall belief. And there's the little part of my brain thinking of all the reasons why I've just been duped, I've been sold a great game. But then I just felt like my gut was just saying, "Yes, it is good sales and I want to be good at sales, so why would I not learn from that? So it was a different way that I've ever accepted a challenge or committed to something or made an investment very different. And my family did not get it.

Eleanor's Self-Limiting Beliefs

Eleanor's Self-Limiting Beliefs
Photographer: Hulki Okan Tabak | Source: Unsplash

Ben Walker: What were some of the things you said that there was a voice in your head that was saying you were duped? What were some of the things that voice was saying?

Eleanor Forder: Well, so to give it context only, I think a month before I signed up, I was scammed and it was terrible at conversions, but it was something like $3,000 worth. And for me at the time that was like a big chunk. The really hurtful part of it was not the money, I think I got that lesson very quickly but it was the fact that I… I mean, I can tell you what they told me to do.

They had me running around London for four hours and said they were from the HMRC, the custom revenue saying that I'd evaded tax, which everyone knows is a scam. It was a Saturday afternoon. They wouldn't call me and they wouldn't say, "Give me the money now." But they got me buying vouchers like Google Play vouchers because they were like, "Oh, we have a deal. The government has a deal with Google Play."

And basically it's just so obvious, and my intuition was just like, "This is crazy. Hang up the phone." But then there was a voice in my head saying, "What the fuck do you know? Do as you're told." So when the bubble bursts, when the woman in front of me, I went to a different supermarket and she was like, "Why do you want a thousand pounds worth of vouchers because there's people saying that from HMRC scamming people?" And I just mouthed to her. Because they told me to stay in their ear and then I just, the bubble burst and I just felt my knees because I was like I'm a fool. I was completely duped.

And that was the most painful part because I was like, "Oh my god. My intuition was telling me the whole time that something was really wrong." And so I got over that very quickly because I was like, "Ah, that's exactly the lesson I needed." I needed to learn that my intuition does know that I do know better than whatever was going up in my mind, all of those beliefs. Also, the idea of money coming out and just it's gone, I was like, "Oh, but I'm okay." My earning potential hasn't gone down. So I actually have got to the part which is something I've done with Shawn, my mentor, this idea of putting before any… He made me write out some of the issues that I was going to put before every sentence, thank God.

And I can genuinely say that for that experience I was like thank God because I needed to learn about my intuition and about money and going into then the discovery call where I was being sold something which the triggers of someone on the phone to me from a different country with a different accent is selling me something asking me for a lot of money right now, full price, and that's where a little bit of doubt came in, and then pretty quickly I was like, "No, but this time I am actually going to listen to my intuition." So I think I learned my lesson.

Ben Walker: What was your intuition saying that time?

Eleanor Forder: My intuition was saying, "I have no idea what this course or program is going to look like. I didn't really know about the nuts and bolts of it, but I wanted to make a huge statement to myself into the universe that I really am going to invest in my vision, and I've been doing this kind of meditation where I bring in expanders as it's called. I'm visualizing the people that I want to be like, the people I want to be around and I'm like no matter what happens with this program, I'm getting closer to the very people that were inspiring me through the podcast. And I think I said to you in our call sometimes I'm like, "Are these people even real? They're just in my phone, in my podcast app.

Biggest Shifts 8 Weeks In To The Strong Coach

Biggest Shifts 8 Weeks In To The Strong Coach
Photographer: kylie De Guia | Source: Unsplash

Mike Bledsoe: This is what happens you get in the program. Everything changes. What are some of the biggest shifts you've experienced?

Eleanor Forder: I think maybe it was the very first call you were like, "Things are going to start happening really fast." I was like, "Okay, cool." I want that. I've been pretty impatient so I was like, "Yeah, bring it on." And I think the the first lesson about, and it's been continued this lesson about language was really key for me because I was like, "Okay, I get it." But then straight away, I noticed myself so much more in my day-to-day conversations, speaking so negatively and negating, and just being inaccurate. And from my culture in London, their self-deprecating humor is rampant. Small talk means that you're always being inaccurate because you're just trying to keep everything small or grandiose like there's the kind of the two extremes.

And so that shifted very quickly for me and even now, I know that I'm not… I haven't fixed that. The fact that I'm aware of it makes me feel very powerful because I'm like, I'm in the process of changing it, and just that has made things feel like they're happening faster because it was our second call where I was suddenly… Well, throughout that week, I announced it on the second call but I was like, "I need to go to California because it'd been my dream for a long time." And I was just like, "I'm just going to go. I don't know why."

And then I realized I could do the check course. I didn't come for the check course. I was going to do it in London, but I decided to change it and I was like, "I've got some friends in the Bay Area that I can see and I've always wanted to see San Diego so I'm just going to do it." I just want to immerse myself and be near all these people that have been inspiring me. I'm here now, and I don't really know how I got here.

Mike Bledsoe: Yeah, It was two days ago Danny goes, "Oh yeah, one of our students is here." I go, okay. I'll have her come out.

Eleanor Forder: I did.

Ben Walker: Speaking of the dream, tell us about that that ring. Show the camera.

Eleanor Forder: I think I got it. I think it was last year, my 25th birthday I got that ring. It's a repurposed quarter dollar from the Navajo tribe and I wear it because it is very much my dream to be in America, and I never thought I'd say that because growing up I equated America with McDonald's, Starbucks and a very aggressive foreign policy. Because I watched mass media and then that's why I think one of the things about podcast that's so incredible is that you get to see grassroots subcultures and what is really happening. And I realized that there is a narrative that in England that has really been suppressing me. And again, this is just my perception.

There are lovely people in England and all the rest… But the overall narrative is not hopeful. It's not this idea of you can make anything of yourself or for yourself. There's not a healthy relationship calling in abundance. That's not a thing unless it's accumulating wealth for the sake of accumulating wealth so that you can have all of the signifiers that I am upper-class because of this archaic classism that we still have. And I never subscribe to that and so it seemed like there was a choice between being poor in creative and socialist or being extremely disgustingly wealthy at the yacht clubs and all the rest. Again, just my perception but it seems…

Mike Bledsoe: That's most people's perception. It's in America too.

Eleanor Forder: I'm sure. And I think because America is so vast.

Mike Bledsoe: If you think back, because cultural narratives, cultural stories are passed down. We inherit them. They're inherited. And if you look at people who came to America from Europe, they were wanting to get away from… They want to change the narrative. They're much more adventurous and we're hopeful. There's probably a lot of people that had that. They left a lot of people… Everyone in Europe was left with that narrative.

Eleanor Forder: Let's keep things the same over here.

Mike Bledsoe: And then people came to America with just a couple hundred years ago, some less, it's like fuck, let's do something different. And then you have the East Coast which is going to be more conservative and more traditional, and then as you go further west, you had the people who were like, yeah, fuck it

The more adventurous it gets. And the narrative shifts to more what you're talking about which is more hope and abundance, and the idea of what money means is different on the West Coast and the East Coast or in Europe. And so it's it's really interesting to see what the impact of a story has on how people live their lives, and how they view reality in the reality that they experience.

Eleanor Forder: That's so true, and I think because I have been immersing myself so much in discourse from the States, I want to be immersed in those stories that are being told, those hopeful stories, and I think environment is so important, and I've noticed more. It's kind of bittersweet because I've noticed more how much my environment in London is not feeding me. The relationships that I have not feeding me, the weather, the pace of life and the stories that you're saying. It's so key and it's something that I feel physically. The more that I open up to my intuition, the more I feel physically drawn here which is why I'm here now randomly, couldn't sensibly afford it, but I did it anyway.

Mike Bledsoe: I think you're here divinely.

Eleanor Forder: I'm starting to believe though.

Ben Walker: This was supposed to happen. This is supposed to happen.

Eleanor Forder: I believe that more wholeheartedly than I ever have. That's not the sort of thing you can say in England. You would be pushed into the loony bin, right. Exactly. And actually that's funny that you said that because there was a point last year when I was in such a bad place that I was like, I need to either be taken to a mental hospital or going to go live in an ashram because I knew that the world I was in was not my reality and I'm like I'm either insane or there was another reality out there that I can live into.

Mike Bledsoe: I've been there.

Eleanor Forder: Oh, really? You've been to that place?

Mike Bledsoe: Yeah. I've been to that place where like things are not as they seem. I really believed that the world was this particular way and then one day woke up and go, damn. Things are different. And then started asking, well, how different can they be?

Eleanor Forder: For me, I feel like it's that process of stepping out of that matrix which has been more confusing and scary than I thought it would be. Like we were saying yesterday about how you have a dream and you're constantly working towards it, but it feels quite far away and you're impatient, you want it to come close, and then you open up to some things, it's dropped right in front of you to have now and suddenly it's like, "Oh, wait. Am I ready? Am I ready for this whole new reality?" And I've been feeling that quite a bit.

Mike Bledsoe: There's levels to this too. So it's like oh, I woke up inside this dream. That's not real. What do I want to create? Let's move into a new dream. And so there's layers of this dream state where it's like, "Oh, new reality, new reality. What can I create?" I've been in a place of expansion for I can say like rapid expansion. I'd say every single human being that's on this planet right now is experiencing expansion from day to day. What was his name? He wrote a Power vs Force. He says-

Eleanor Forder: David Hawkins.

Mike Bledsoe: David Hawkins. He says there is no passage of time, there's only expansion of consciousness. And so everybody is expanding in their consciousness from moment to moment, but some people are doing it intentionally. Some people, it's happening very fast and deep and I would say I've been in mine for about eight years, aggressively getting after it, and then waking up and going, "Oh, that was a dream. Now, I'm in reality." And then a year later ago, I'm like, "Oh, that was another dream." Shit.

Eleanor Forder: Oh my god.

Ben Walker: I've stopped saying living the dream altogether because there is no dream. It's like I was living one as an actor, I'm living one as The Strong Coach. I might live one as a park ranger in five years. I don't know. The dream is really limiting.

Mike Bledsoe: Well, it keeps you exciting. I don't know if I want to know the future. People are always like, "Oh, I want to know what's in my future." And I definitely get some insights into what's happening. Some things you go deep enough, you can see the patterns and you can have pretty good predictions around in general what's coming next. But how it shows up, that's always a mystery and very exciting. It's like watching a movie. It's like, oh. What's the-

Eleanor Forder: What twist is going to happen next in The Strong Coach?

Mike Bledsoe: Yeah. It's like I'm going that direction but what's it going to take to get there? Oh, I'm going to have to give up everything. Oh, I gave it all up. And then laugh at myself going, "Oh, everything I was clinging to was not important." But there was a part of my identity that had said that, that was everything, and then when I let go of everything, then everything is possible. Anything is possible. So that's…

Eleanor Forder: I like that idea of having at least a trajectory and I think that's something that I've learned through the process of The Strong Coach is set your goals and then let the path be as it will be. Surrender into that. Don't think. Because I remember when I was doing the goals like the long-term goals, we're fine. I know what I wanted to be doing in five and 10 years time because there's the comfort of space so I can think really big.

Mike Bledsoe: You're rare. You're rare. Most people go in a 10-year goal setting like my brain is melting.

Eleanor Forder: I've got thing. I was when I started to break it down and I didn't have the exercise exactly right because I was thinking okay, the breakdown is how do I get there but instead it was like, "no, what do you want in two years time, in one year's time?" So I was pulling my hair out thinking, but in one year's time I probably am not that far ahead towards that goal that I should be and I can't really picture that much progress and I was getting in a flurry. And so my mentor, Shawn was really helpful about saying, "No, no, no. This is what you want. Don't worry about the how. The how willhappen."

That's stepping off into that surrender which is difficult for me and I've been told so many times that I'm so far into my masculine always trying to find solutions, trying to find the logic behind things and the surrender is a lesson that as I was just saying I'm learning from you guys, and it's coming. But I can feel that surrender, it feels like I'm free-falling and I've got that butterfly effect as I'm about to jump off the edge of a cliff, but it's starting to feel more exhilarating than it is scary. I still get scared.

Mike Bledsoe: It's a practice. Surrender is a practice and surrender is an interesting word because most people associated with giving up, and it's not giving up. To me, it's making a full commitment to something setting a full intention of I'm committing to this result while surrendering into how it happens. And it's a practice. And the thing is surrender is absolutely necessary to move with speed because if we try to logic our way there, if we knew how to do the thing, we would have already done it. So it has to be a surprise.

Eleanor Forder: That's very true. And I think we were talking about this how… Because you don't know what's going to happen. We can create things we can dream, but essentially the universe is in control. So in England we assume that being realistic is being pessimistic, and so to surrender it's like, well, that's probably going to go to shit anyway.

Ben Walker: I don't know anyone who describes themselves as pessimistic. I know people who describe themselves as optimistic and realistic. I don't know any self-identifying pessimists.

Eleanor Forder: But god forbid we could be optimistic. We can just say, "What will happen will happen hopefully the best?" Why not think on that side. That's not the narrative that I was taught and so it's being and undoing and that's why I really appreciate this process of The Strong Coach.

Ben Walker: Another part of that surrender is opening yourself up to possibilities of like this unexpected thing that comes in come completely out of nowhere and you go, "Oh, that can that get me towards my goal? Let's find out." Maybe it will. I don't know. Hello, challenge. What have you come to teach me about The Strong Coach today? And you can't see those opportunities unless you surrender first.

Eleanor Forder: And I do feel like I'm guided from thing to thing, and I don't really know why. And in the past I'd be like, if I don't know why, I'm not going to fucking do it because that's silly. But now I'm just saying, "Okay, I'm just going to go California." Because I had some friends I was going to see I didn't know if they were going to be here or not, so I was like, "Okay. Oh, they're here." Oh, I get to hang out with people who make me feel like a human being. And then, "Oh okay, I can go and hang out with the guys in The Strong Coach. Okay, nice." I didn't know it was going to happen but I felt drawn to come. So it's all happening.

Ben Walker: That's a textbook example of like, "Oh, let's see," and then here you are on The Strong Coach podcast.

Eleanor Forder: Yeah. Who knew.

Her Business 8 Weeks Into The Strong Coach Program

Her Business 8 Weeks Into The Strong Coach Program

Mike Bledsoe: What was your business looking like? So week eight of 12-week program. What has shifted for your business before and after so far?

Eleanor Forder: So far I've got much more clear about who my audience is, and I think I had a rough idea but it's drilling down into our favorite clients has been a really nice exercise for me because I'm thinking of one client in particular who is my dream and being able to interview her, and pick up the words that she's using because I have different words for the same thing, but as soon as I know what her words are, I can then use that to speak to that kind of person using her words. So I'm going to be using that a lot more when I am more active on social media because I'm going to be doing more of that because I'm confident.

And I feel like I have a direction with that now. What's been nice being here to do, the check course is that now I have more content to put out there. More of a direction for where I want to go, in terms of what I'm actually teaching. So I've got the rocket ship and now I've got that power to make it really explode because of what I've learnt from The Strong Coach. So in terms of boots on the ground work. I think it's going to be the new year for me that that things really start to blow up and I'm really, really confident about it. Again, I don't know for sure. I can just feel it's coming in because I've got all of the materials and I've got the power behind it now. So I've got a vision, yeah.

Mike Bledsoe: I always experience the energy of something before it's obvious in my mind. I go, "Oh, it feels like a tidal wave." I like that, I like tidal waves.

Eleanor Forder: You better ride this.

Mike Bledsoe: Yeah. I also like intensity. So some people might feel the tidal wave and freak out.

Eleanor Forder: I might have some moments of freaking out but that's part of it, because I think I do like the intensity but I haven't experienced it yet in this context. So it's going to be a learning process

Ben Walker: You were saying earlier about a lot of the stories that you're being told back home are out of alignment for you, what's the story you want to tell?

Eleanor Forder: I want to be able to live into this idea that we can live what we want, have what we want and be connected in a way that resonates with us because I think a lot of what I was living in London were obligations to have a certain type of social life, have a certain type of philosophy, small talk, whatever it is and build a life that my dad was very much focused on wanting me to have a career with a clear ladder, in a big corporation where things get ticked off, you get a house, you get married, you do all the things. And I want to live into a story where that's not the rule. You don't have to have that vision for life.

You can choose your own and having a freedom to have friendships and a tribe that directly resonates with who we're about, and helps and lifts you up because when I… Either the language that I've started to use or the way that I'm living my life, I know jars with people at home. And so I want to be living around people with whom that language resonates and we can help bring each other up because we're constantly growing. Well, at least I want to be with people who are constantly growing consciously. Yeah, that's the story I want to be in, ideally.

Ben Walker: What a pretty story.

Eleanor's 10-year vision

Mike Bledsoe: What do you see for yourself in 10 years?

Ben Walker: There's a lot of people who are going to hear it, and someone's going to be like, "Oh, I can help you with that," and they're going to hit you up.

Eleanor Forder: So how I envisioned it, and the details are sort of coming because the visions are there because it's essentially what I've had as my ideal day and all that. It started just an energetic feeling of how I want to feel and experience life and it's starting to take form into some of the more logistic details. I want to be, I will be somewhere sunny with space, with quiet, where I can have the time and space to develop my own personal practice as well as being close enough to a hub of people who I can work with. I want to work very, very intimately with people, less clients, but deep dives. I'd like ideally to have my own home studio so people can come to me do hours long sessions or retreats, and retreats.

And have it all. And going really deep into the holistic side of things. So doing the physical fitness, doing the emotional work, doing the lifestyle piece. What I really envision is creating a community to use the word Sangha to borrow from Buddhist culture that helps to bring each other up in a way that is not… Because I had issues with disordered eating in the past.

I tried to do the 12-step group saying, it just didn't really resonate with me, but I was so desperate to find a support group, and even the word support group doesn't sound very nice necessarily if you have connotations to it. So I want to create a different kind of support group within a community that I can create people who are going through this journey of realization, whatever it is to a more awakened life, and that's what I envision. And lots of money.

Mike Bledsoe: Yes.

Eleanor Forder: Only enough to create that vision to be able to… Just the freedom of living where I want to live having the house I want to have, being able to travel when I can, and not worrying about it.

Mike Bledsoe: When it comes down to money it's what's the lifestyle you want to have, how do you want to be of service? And I noticed for myself, there's… I go back and forth. There's times where I get caught up in, "Oh, I need that amount of money." And I go, "Where did that come from?" And then I realize in order to run the business, I'm focused on the money and then it becomes about the money and then I have to pull myself back out, and I go, "Well, the reason I set the goal around money that I did is because it's indicative of how much influence and how much I can help people and be of service."

So if I want to be of service to a million people that means I need to have the ability to direct and manage this much money. Money is energy and so I have to be able to work with that and expand into that. And so I have sway back and forth where I go, "Oh, we got Danny Rios walking in the back door." And I think that happens for everybody, get hyper focused on just… Like they get caught in the money. And you can tell someone's focused on money when they say the words, "I don't want it to be about the money." And they're like, "Oh, you were totally stuck in the money story. You're making it more about the money than someone who has more money."

So I've definitely swayed back and forth where I caught myself and I go, "Oh, I'm making it about the money." And I get back into, "Okay, what is it that I want to accomplish? What's the vision of the future I have for myself and for my clients?" And I go, "Okay. Well, I do need to manage this amount of money." And I get more focused into being of service and then allowing the money to be just something that I have to watch. It's something I have to watch. It's something that I have to consciously grow and expand into but it's not the reason that I'm doing it.

The money is of service to the the overall purpose, but there has to be attention there and I think that for myself and for everybody else is, "Are you getting caught up in the money? Can you look at your bank account without freaking out? Or is it just something where it's like, okay, this is where I'm at, this is where things need to be, and the the amount of money that someone has or can manage is indicative of where they're at personally." And so if there's not a lot there, that means there's something to work on there.

Ben Walker: Because making a goal about money if you say like, "Oh, my goal is an annual income of a million dollars," that's the same as someone coming in and saying, "I want to lose 10 pounds." Okay, why? If you put a pile of dollars, a million dollars right on this table. Great, that's a million dollars. Our lives are exactly the same. Nothing has changed. So what's that money for is-

Eleanor Forder: What's on the other end of it?

"Why that number?"

Ben Walker: Yeah. That's much more important. So that's why I always ask when someone has that goal is like, okay, why? Why that number? Why is that important to you?

Eleanor Forder: That's why I don't even like to put a number on it. I felt kind of… Because lots of people were in their goals, and I was like, God, I don't know what those were. I want the lifestyle, the freedom and then the ability as you say to give back, which means that you need the space, the buffer that money is. But I have no idea.

Ben Walker: However much is necessary.

Eleanor Forder: Exactly. So I'll just get that because I'm focused on the dream itself, yeah.

Mike Bledsoe: Yeah. I have a client right now, her goal is a million dollars a month. Now, we got to get to work. What's between here and there? What's between here and there? It's cool to have a goal like that because it's like, all right… Like you're saying, Ben, what's behind that? Because if you can dig into that, then it'll happen. But you're…

Ben Walker: It's probably daddy issues.

Mike Bledsoe: Definitely daddy issues.

Eleanor Forder: It always is.

Mike Bledsoe: You know that, goal was set before she did Training Camp for the Soul. I'm going to check back in, see what's going on with that.

Training Camp For The Soul

Her Business 8 Weeks Into The Strong Coach Program

Eleanor Forder: I'm excited for Training Camp for the Soul.

Ben Walker: Oh, tell us about process leading up to getting into that?

Eleanor Forder: While I was here in California, but I was in Oakland, it's similar to signing up for The Strong Coach is that I was just suddenly like, "Oh, I should do that. I keep hearing about it. I should do it." And so I booked the discovery call for that afternoon. And again, I was like, okay. I had an idea of like, okay, it's going to be more than I feel comfortable paying, definitely because that's kind of the point.

Mike Bledsoe: Yeah, the level of investment you make is the level of the commitment that you're having to show up.

Eleanor Forder: I so believe that, and that's why I was like okay, I'm prepared. I want to pay a lot. I want to pay a lot. Was it enough?

Mike Bledsoe: I've watched myself do that before. It's like, "Do you want to come in this conference, it's 500 bucks?" I'm like no. It's 5,000 bucks. "Tell me more. Where do I got to go? Where do I send the money?"

Eleanor Forder: It peaks my interest. Exactly. But even so, it's still like when I actually heard the figure I was like, "Okay. It's still kind of scary." I think I said straight away as long as there's a payment plan, I'm in. Because again, I don't know what the exercises will be. I don't know exactly what the process we'll look at.

Mike Bledsoe: It's a secret.

Eleanor Forder: Exactly. It's neither here nor there. At this stage it's like I believe in it. I believe in it and that's my intuition speaking. And this time I believe that.

Mike Bledsoe: Oh, we're going to bring you back on after you complete it.

What will change after going to Training Camp For The Soul

Eleanor Forder: Oh god, what will change?

Ben Walker: All sort of things. You think you know it's surrender. You think you know what love is and then you do Training Camp for the Soul. It's like uh-oh, oh that.

Eleanor Forder: I've been spending years looking at my mommy and daddy issues. There's plenty of them, and I've done all sorts, it feels and there's still things that are not quite aligning. So I'm like, "Okay, I don't know what more I can look at because I think I feel like I could write an essay about every aspect of my childhood."

Mike Bledsoe: It's not just about mommy and daddy issues. When we get into the work, it's about what in your life is causing those feelings that you're avoiding? What in your life is out of alignment? If your life is fucking peachy from day to day, maybe you don't need it. If you feel blocked in an area of your life, if something's not happening in business the way you want it to or something that's not happening in personal relationships or you start seeing a pattern and relationships or business, why do I keep doing the same things even though I consciously tell myself I'm going to do it different next time? And then I get into the thing and I look back and go, "I did it the same way. Fuck."

Eleanor Forder: It's crazy.

Mike Bledsoe: Okay. That's what Training Camp for the Soul is for. It's a lot of fun to watch people go through it. Ben just did it. You've been a part of The Strong Coach for about a year.

Closing Thoughts

Mike Bledsoe: Where should people go to find out what you're up to?

Eleanor Forder: My website is Flux and Flow Coaching, all spelled out .com.

Mike Bledsoe: Fluxandflowcoaching.com

Eleanor Forder: And @FluxandFlowCoaching on Instagram.

Mike Bledsoe: @FluxandFlowCoaching on Instagram. All right, folks. Go check them out. Ben, where do people go if they want to get some free resources to improve their coaching business today?

Ben Walker: Thestrongcoachpodcast.com and download the three-step coaching business tune-up. And again the next level up from that, as you heard from Eleanor on her call with Danny is get on the phone, let us talk to you because there's shit you don't know that you don't know and we're going to help you find it.

Mike Bledsoe: And you can find what we're up to, YouTube, iTunes, Stitcher, all the social medias. Check out The Strong Coach. See you next week.

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