The Bledsoe Show

A Life Worth Living with Aleks Rybchinskiy

A Life Worth Living with Aleks Rybchinskiy

Aleks embodies what he teaches and inspires many. He is a leader, mentor and coach. "I chose this because I wanted to help people experience life in a healthy, sustainable way that also supports the earth and those around them. I want them to feel alive. Not just live. Not feel better. And not simply just get stronger. But to really feel and experience being alive.

Table Of Contents

Going The Online Route

If you feel the desire to write a book, what would it be about?
Photographer: Glenn Carstens-Peters | Source: Unsplash

Mike: I appreciate you a having come on season one and enlightening us all and now here we are and strange times, strange times and man. What's going on in your world right now?

Alex: Well, with this whole code thing, we applied for all the small business loans and um, almost failed all those that we didn't get accepted for. But then all these other people collecting, you know, 20 $10 million and $40 million from colleges and all these other places. And I'm like, okay, that's why I didn't get accepted. That's cool.

And we're like, Hey, you know what? This is a perfect opportunity to take the things that we no online, and at least give people the best material that we can. So right now we're like cultivating an online coaching business, which dilutes nothing of what we do except not seeing people in person. So except for just getting people on a mass level. So we're still building that and we're going to be launching that in a couple weeks. I think now, um, restructuring our whole website, I mean this, this, this mode of darkness has really allowed us to go, okay, we are doing one thing really well, but how can we give it out to the masses?

So we pondered what can we give, how can we dilute this? And we sat and we go, okay, what is too much? What is too little? What would be watered down? What would we ethically and morally be okay to release without releasing just something to make money? You know what I mean? And so, and so that's kind of what we're doing.

I sat down and I'm like almost done with my whole course that I just wrote. So I've just been obsessed it for the last couple of days about masculine archetypes and how we can actually address them to the, show them, to the people, how to balance it and be full in ourselves so we can deliver ourselves properly to the world.

And so, I mean, that's what I'm really, what we're doing. You know, the kids are home. It's a lot of time at home. That's my world. A lot of time managing kids eating and you know, working and I'm pretty much just that.

Mike: How have you found that the process of going online a is cause you to refine and think things through more thoroughly?

Aleks: Once you put it in words, people can take it as however their consciousness allows them to filter it through their, through their ego and perceive it in their body. And then that's just what comes out of it. And then you have to go back later and do whatever press releases and clarifications. But it's not there. It's not in person. You can't just be like, that's not what I meant. Let's dive in a little deeper. You know?

So that's what I'm finding with this, what I'm writing. I was turning into an obsession because I go, no, that could be taken wrong. Now I've got to clarify that. I got to put this in there. And then this little snippet turned into like a full blown, it's probably gonna take me four to six hours to record this thing, just straight through no editing. So yeah, it's kind of kind of maddening in a sense, which is great. I love the madness.

Receiving Constructive Feedback

Photographer: Dmitry Ratushny | Source: Unsplash

Mike: How do you receive criticism or constructive feedback where I like to call it feed-forward. How do you separate that feedback from taking it personally? Because taking it personally obviously slows down the process.

Let's do business first. And then I am curious about the personal, Oh good God. Now, now I have memories coming up. Now I'm like, I'm already thinking by the time people have personal feedback from me.

Aleks: For business when it comes to areas that I have no idea in, I'm an open sponge and anytime I'm around people that I have something that I could learn from. I turned into a childlike wonder and I just absorb like a sponge. And then I take that information like a sponge and to carry all that water, which is the wisdom. And then I go and I ring it out and I go, what do I have here? Is it muddy water is a clean water. So most of the time, 99% of the time I receive it with, I can see maybe where you're coming from.

And let me look into that because I don't know the definition of what you're talking about quite yet. I don't know the full scope. I'm working with one of our close friends was redoing our whole website from this thing and making it easier for people to be able to access our site and make it functional and make it more user friendly. And so I'm like, here's my idea and he's like you're putting the cart in front of the horse. And I'm like no but you're not understanding it.

And then I start talking it's like you're putting the car in front of the horse. And I'm like, okay, I'll listen. And then so he just sits there and tells me all these things that like these, do you see how this has to happen before this and this? And I'm like, yeah, okay. So my idea, even though it's a good idea, there has to be a process for that idea to be delivered in a coherent manner. Because if you jumped into my brain and try to process all this, it'd be too much, especially for the average person that's never come in contact with any of this.

Trying To Save The World

Trying To Save The World
Photographer: NASA | Source: Unsplash

Mike: Did you go through a phase where you were trying, you know, trying to save the world? How did that shift for you? What did that look like? What did that feel like and how did it shift?

Aleks: Mostly trying to save myself, mostly trying to prove myself as someone that's important. Someone that is trying to contribute, someone that's trying to prove to the world how smart I am and be validated but also it hurts when you're not validated. And you know, Sarah has been my blessing over here. One day she's like, can you just shut the fuck up and stop telling, like being so surprised about the stuff that you're doing. And I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, how many people have to show you of all different classes of people from the wealthiest to not the wealthiest to the people that are famous to not famous telling you that, Hey dude, you do good work.

And then I go, that's an interesting point. I mean, all of these people are telling us that there's, we're doing good work and on, on all levels. You know, even if you're, you know, just the personal trainer just getting into it and you taught someone how to squat somewhat properly and you help the person that needed the help that at the level that you are at to give them. And they're like, that was amazing. And you're like, wow, I need more of that instead of cool. I have learned something. I'm becoming more proficient at something. Let's learn the next thing.

So saving the world it was a challenge because there's parts of me that were drowning, you know, needing of saving of myself. And you know, when you start digging into the deeper parts of yourself and you start coming out of it like a more grounded, more whole person your you just find yourself saving the world by interacting with it instead of putting effort out. I've seen so many people walking by the store that just stare or they'll reach out and go, Hey, that thing you said to me five years ago like really impacted my life.

Mike: What was you wanting to save the world previously? Was that coming from a place of wanting to be loved? Like, Oh, if I show that I'm valuable than people will love me or I will love me.

Aleks: There's definitely a sense of that. I mean it's on multiple different layers in situations of not feeling good enough, not feeling like you could be able to provide a living, not being able to support a family with the discouragement that you get from like you're not going to make it as a trainer. You're not going to make it as and they were right. I had to evolve past being a trainer to make it and but those are the kinds of things that kind of started that hero's journey and that pain is what carries you through.

And then once you kind of get to a certain level of comfort and understanding, you're like, okay, I am willing to no longer prostitute myself for myself and for other people and just provide whatever people need because I'm comfortable with the material. I'm comfortable with what I know I'm comfortable with the way I can help people. And I'm comfortable one on one we I'm willing to offer people. And then the people that just randomly show up in your life or that they'd be at the grocery store, whether they're your own personal clients, whether it's your family they will show up once you stop talking about how much and this is coming from real experience real personal experience.

You stop badgering them about they need to get off gluten and dairy and you just say, no thanks, I'm not going to do that. And they're like, and they watch you get healthier and stronger and more grounded and less impatient and you know, then they're like, well, what the hell's going on over there? I don't know.

Practicing Righteousness

Practicing Righteousness
Photographer: Mark Basarab | Source: Unsplash

Mike: Yeah it's a common trait for a human being to want to be right. And which means that other people need to be wrong. And if you're trying to tell people how your right, then they automatically have to make you wrong. And that's not true for every human being but it's a very common symptom is, at least in the Western world, will say United States. A I think it's very baked into the culture of this needing to be right.

Aleks: I mean the easiest way to, to, you know, do that as just to practice it. You know, the more righteousness you have without action, the more you fall into a shadow. You know, like the more medicine you take without any integration of the lessons, the more you just separate yourself and become misaligned. The more you tell your kids to do things but you don't do the things that you're telling them to do, the more they misbehave. And the more you don't follow or the more you tell your clients to do something and they don't listen because you're not doing them, the more of a disconnect you get from your own clients.

And so it's what I've only noticed is you can only speak from experience by actually doing the things that you're doing. And that's anytime someone comes up to me and they're like free, I'll give you an example. I'm not the most organized person and if someone has a problem with organization and like one of my clients, I just call in the other room or you know, I'm like, Hey Sarah, can you come in here and talk to them about organization because I'm not the most organized person. So they need to hear it from someone that is amazing at organization and that that hasn't mastered.

So I don't speak to things that I don't have figured out to the degree that I can't help them, that I can help my clients. You know, obviously I'm not a master in on so many things, but this is something that I practiced on a daily basis of awareness of moment by moment, focusing on what's important and restructuring my mind to go, K I need to focus on this work. Okay. Then my kid is asking me for something simple. My kid is asking me for attention, I told him 30 minutes, can I deliver in 30 minutes or do I have to break my promise?

And now there is a lack of trust. So these are the things I just do on a daily, daily basis. If I tell Sarah I'll be done in 10 minutes, I better be done in 10 minutes, you know, say what you mean and mean. What you say is just the thing that's always flowing in my head. And it's one of those things where it's just like a tight rope to walk, but it's a rewarding tight rope, you know?

Mike: Just do more, do more of what's right and life becomes a little bit easier. Not in the sense of like, you know, the tasks become less arduous. It's just the flow becomes easier and you know, there's less resistance that from point a to point B, you know, like, Oh, I have to get up and do this. It's like you just get up and do that thing that that you said you were going to do a lot simpler. You know the energy is still depletes, but the resistance it becomes down, it goes down.

So it becomes more efficient and the more you practice it, just like the law facilitation, the more you do something, the more of the pathways allow you to do things with less and less resistance. So the things that were hard before, just like exercising became easier, you know, just think of us 10 years ago of one personality trait that we've worked on and how it's just a part of our life now. Oh yeah. I am way more patient and Oh yeah. I am way more organized. Like even before I met Sarah to now I'm, I'm a, I'm a 300% more organized human being because of being around someone that is organized and just holds that as a value.

And so I'm just more organized. Things go where they need to go and do I slip up? But I have a master to show me how to not slip up or she'll have a ruler. No, but she definitely has a very sharp tongue. So

Add comment

FlowStated EventBrite

Lastet Episode